목사님이 섹스에 관한 이야기를 꺼내는 것은 쉽지 않을 것인데 텍사스의 한 목사님이 주일에 교회에 모인 신도들에게 일주일동안 지속적으로 섹스를 할 것을 제시(섹스 챌린지)해서 화제거리가 된 적이 있다. 실행한 뒤에 일주일 뒤에 보자!는 것이다. 'sex-periment' (섹스실험)이라는 단어가 인상적이다. 결혼생활의 나른함으로 교회에 앉은 부부커플에게는 어쩌면 눈이 번쩍 뜨이는 신선한 도전이었을 것이다. 부부침대를 예배당 앞에 두고 Better Marriage: More Sex(더 나은 결혼 생활을 위해 섹스를 더 많이 하라)라는 이슈를 들고 나와 퍼포먼스를 보여주는 이색적인 교회, 이색적인 목사님의 모습이다. 이 이색적인 교회당의 모습을 담은 CBS방송국(CBS health Watch)의 비디오와 뉴욕타임즈에 실린 글을 소개한다.
이 글을 읽는 분은
그 결과에 주목하기 보다는, 솔직한 심정으로 이것(결혼과 성생활)에 대해 여러 측면으로 생각해보면 좋을 것 같다. 또한 교회를 성스로운 곳으로만 생각하고 이런 말하기를 꺼리는 것에 대해서도 생각해볼만한 주제로 여겨진다. 인간은 인간이다. 인간은 예수를 닮기를 원하지만 그렇게 되지 못한다. 아담에게 주어진 사과의 유혹은 인간이 죽기 전까지 시달리다 가야할 고난이다. 하나님은 부부(커플)를 만들고 그들에게 자식을 주었다. 그리고 가진것을 마음껏 누리라고 하였다. 교회란, 일주일동안의 생활을 돌이켜 볼 기회를 주는 어른이 다니는 학교 같은 곳이 아닐까? 학교 선생님이 도덕책과 윤리책만 읽는다면 하품만 나는 학교, 하품만 나는 교실이 될 것이다. 미국교회가 믿는 사람들을 위해 과감히, 그리고 부단히 노력하는 것을 볼 수 있다. 음악의 장르가 다 다른 것처럼, 예술의 부류가 다 다른 것처럼, 아이스크림의 종류가 다 다른 것처럼 교회의 색깔도 각기 다른 것을 볼 수 있다. 취향에 따라 교회를 선택한다?
Pastor's Sex Challenge For Congregation
The Rev. Ed Young, 47, says he believes society promotes promiscuity, and he wants to reclaim sex for married couples. Sex should be a nurturing, spiritual act that strengthens marriages, he said.
"God says sex should be between a married man and a woman," Young says. "I think it's one of the greatest things you can do for your kids because so goes the marriage, so goes the family."
Young is founder of the Grapevine, Texas-based, nondenominational Fellowship Church, which draws about 20,000 people each Sunday and also has campuses in Dallas, Fort Worth and Plano, Texas.
Earlier this year, a southwest Florida pastor, perhaps having more faith in his congregants' stamina, issued a 30-day sex challenge.
Young said the seven days should begin this coming Sunday.
"The goal," Young told Early Show co-anchor Julie Chen Thursday, "is for the church to talk about sex, because, after all, God is the one who invented sex, and he tells us to do it, but he says to do it in marriage.
"And sex is really the super-glue, Julie -- I believe it's a real reflection of how the marriage is going, so I thought, 'Wouldn't it be cool if we could get 20,000 people having sex for seven straight days?' And I think some of the issues that you have to deal with prior to going to bed together, that's going to be the real take-home from this 'sex-periment' that we're doing."
The reaction from both congregants and the community, Young says, "has been overwhelmingly positive, because so many people are whining from the economy, and I thought, 'How do we change whining into whoopee?'
"We had guys who were texting their friends during the sermon, they were like. 'You've got to be here next week. You won't believe what's gonna happen!' So, it's been great.
"We've had a few people go, 'Man, I wonder why you're doing this,' or, 'That's kind of odd, talking about making love in church.' But, again, I think the church has allowed the culture to hijack sex from the church, and it's time that we moved the bed back in church and put God back in the bed, and I think we are the real sex-perts because, after all, we're made in God's image and he's the one who wants us to do it his way."
Young added, "Even my wife and I are going to do this. We've been married for 26 years and we have four kids, so I'm looking forward to it. It will be one of the greatest Thanksgivings ever!"
He's asked his parishioners to e-mail their thoughts and feelings during the week of sex and explained to Chen he thinks that will result in getting "some real issues out on the table. I think they'll deal with some forgiveness stuff, some maybe hurt feelings. I think there's a lot of stress and a lot of anxiety because of this tough time we're going through, and I think it will solidify a lot of marriages, and I think this sex-periment we're doing will be a launching pad to take many, many marriages to a whole 'nother level.
"We're gonna do a follow-up service where we actually read and talk about some of the responses, some of the feelings that the husbands and the wives are having, and we're going to get them to fill out in a little book and e-mail it."
Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex
A version of this article appeared in print on November 24, 2008, on page A13 of the New York edition.
“Today we’re beginning this sexperiment, seven days of sex,” he said, with his characteristic mix of humor, showmanship and Scripture. “How to move from whining about the economy to whoopee!”
On Sunday parishioners at the Grapevine branch watched a prerecorded sermon from Mr. Young and his wife, Lisa, on jumbo screens over a candlelit stage. “I know there’s been a lot of love going around this week, among the married couples,” one of the church musicians said, strumming on a guitar before a crowd of about 3,000.
Mrs. Young, dressed in knee-high black boots and jeans, said that after a week of having sex every day, or close to it, “some of us are smiling.” For others grappling with infidelities, addictions to pornography or other bitter hurts, “there’s been some pain; hopefully there’s been some forgiveness, too.”
Mr. Young advised the couples to “keep on doing what you’ve been doing this week. We should try to double up the amount of intimacy we have in marriage. And when I say intimacy, I don’t mean holding hands in the park or a back rub.”
Mr. Young, known simply as Ed to his parishioners, and his wife, both 47, have been married for 26 years and have four children, including twins. They have firsthand experience with some of the barriers to an intimate sex life in marriage, including careers, exhaustion, outside commitments, and “kids,” a word that Mr. Young told church members stands for “keeping intimacy at a distance successfully.”
But if you make the time to have sex, it will bring you closer to your spouse and to God, he has said. You will perform better at work, leave a loving legacy for your children to follow and may even prevent an extramarital affair.
“If you’ve said, ‘I do,’ do it,” he said. As for single people, “I don’t know, try eating chocolate cake,” he said.
The sex-starved marriage has been the topic of at least two recent books, “365 Nights” and “Just Do It.” But Mr. Young’s call from the pulpit gave the discussion an added charge.
It should not, in his view. This is not a gimmick or a publicity stunt, Mr. Young says. Just look at the sensuousness of the Song of Solomon, or Genesis: “two shall become one flesh,” or Corinthians: “do not deprive each other of sexual relations.”
“For some reason the church has not talked about it, but we need to,” he said, speaking by telephone Friday night on his way to South Africa for a mission trip. There is no shame in marital sex, he added, “God thought it up, it was his idea.”
Those who attend Fellowship’s location here or one of several satellite churches in the Dallas area and one in Miami are used to Mr. Young’s provocative style. (The real “f word” in the marital boudoir, he says, is “forgiveness.”) But the sex challenge was a bit much for some of his church members, who sat with arms crossed in uncomfortable silence, he recalls, while many in the audience gave him an enthusiastic applause.
One parishioner, Rob Hulsey, 25, said his Baptist relatives raised their eyebrows about it, but he summed up the reaction of many husbands at Fellowship Church when he first heard about the sex challenge — “Yay!”
A week later, he and his wife, who are expecting a baby and have two older children, could not stop holding hands during the sermon. His wife, Madeline Hulsey, 32, said she was just as thrilled to spend a week focusing on her husband. Usually, “we start to kiss, and it’s knock knock knock, Mom!” she said.
Others found that, like smiling when you are not particularly happy, having sex when they did not feel like it improved their mood. Just eight months into their marriage, Amy and Cody Waddell had not been very amorous since Cody admitted he had had an affair.
“Intimacy has been a struggle for us, working through all that,” Ms. Waddell said. “This week really brought us back together, physically and emotionally.”
It is not always easy to devote time for your spouse, Pastor Young admitted. Just three days into the sex challenge he said he was so tired after getting up before dawn to talk about the importance of having more sex in marriage that he crashed on the bed around 8 p.m. on Tuesday night.
Mrs. Young tried to shake him awake, telling her husband, “Come on, it’s the sex challenge.” But Mr. Young murmured, “Let’s just double up tomorrow,” and went back to sleep.
출처:http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/24/us/24sex.html
