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다시 태어나는 사람-브라이언 웰치

Brian Welch CNN Interview




미국에서 제정신으로 아트를 하는 것은 불가능한 것처럼 보인다. 어느정도 미쳐서는 미국에서 "아티스트"라고 명함을 내놓기가 쉽지 않기 때문이다. 여기서 아트는 미술, 음악, 연예 등 개인이 자신의 소질을 밖으로 표출하는 다양한 예술분야를 통칭한다. "돈을 만들고 마약을 하고...."를 반복하면서 살아가는 것이 미국 아티스트들의 인생처럼 보인다. 열광하는 팬들을 더 미치게, 보다 자극적인 작품을 만들기 위해서는 그 방법이 최선일 것이다. 머리가 커서 "헤드"라고 불리게 되었다는 브라이언 웰치는 그래미 수상을 두번이나 받은 록밴드 콘(Korn)의 기타리스트였다.

어느날, 이 마약중독자, 록스타가 지붕위 앉아서 무엇인가를 열심히 읽고 있었다.
그것은 바로 "성경책(Bible)"이었다.
겉보기엔 잘 나가고 있었던 이 사람이 정신이 들어 하는 말,
"그 때 내 속은 죽어 있었다."

여기서 정신이 들어라는 말을 크리스찬이 되어서 라고 말할 수도 있겠으나 그렇게 하지 않았다. 그 이유는 크리스찬이 아닌 사람의 입장에선 이해하기 힘든 말이기 때문이다. 크리스찬이 아니면 정신이 들지 않은 것인가? 하고 반문을 가질 수 있을텐데 개인적으로 나는 그렇게 논리적인 사람이 아니고 그 문맥은 아무 하자가 없는 것처럼 보이니 그냥 넘어가라. 대신 정신이 들어라는 말을 크리스찬이 되어서 라고 말할 수 있을까? 자신에게 묻고 대답하는 시간을 가지면 좋을 것 같다. 

CNN News 배경에 보이는 korn again은 born again에 빗대어 쓴 것이라 인상적이다. 
투어가 끝나고 어린 딸이 Korn이 부르던, "All day I dream about sex(온종일 난 섹스 생각뿐이야)"를 따라 부르는 것을 들었을 때에야 "아~ 이건 아니야!" 라고 정신이 번쩍 들었다는 것이다.
................................................................................................................................................................................................................

영어의 소리가 들리면 정확한 번역을 할 필요도 없고 자막도 필요 없겠지만, 의미있는 이 동영상도 한번 안 열어보고 갈 분이 있을 것 같아 아래에 동영상 내용을 영어로 옮겨본다. 소리가 안들려도 문자해독은 익숙할 것 같아 올리는 것이니, 시간이 나고 심심하면 한번 들여다라도 보면 좋을 것 같다. 달리는 인생에 무엇이 중요한지 한번 생각해 보길... 영상과 소리 그리고 본문 내용을 통합해서 들으려면 새 창을 하나 더 열어서 이 페이지에서는 동영상을, 다른 페이지(새 창)에서는 본문 내용을 눈으로 읽기 바란다. 대부분 영상에서 의미 전달을 해주므로 단어를 굳이 찾을 필요는 없다. 영어공부에 조금이나마 도움이 되길 바란다. 거듭 말하지만 이 동영상을 보기 위해 단어 찾고 숙어 찾으려면 그냥 끄는 것이 좋다. 그리고 절대로 다시 내 블로그엔 방문하지 말길 바란다.


위 동영상 내용


A guitar player's dream but for Brian Welch, it was something else entirely. He's the former lead guitarist for the multi-platinum Grammy winning rock band, Korn. Never heard of him? Ask your kids. And then you can surprise them with what you've learned in this people in the news profile of Brian Welch that Paula Zahn finished just before she went on vacation.

Here on a roof, bible in hand, Brian Welch is a new man. But it wasn't long ago that this hard rocking heavy drinking drug addicted rock star was at the pinnacle of his career, and drowning he says in despair.

A junkie, a single dad and a rock star, all in one. But inside I was dead.

That is how the former guitarist from Korn describes his old life, before he quit drugs, before he quit the band, before he did this.

Brian Welch was raised in a Christian home, in the industrial farm town of Bakersfield California. His quiet childhood, a far cry from his wild future.

When I was a kid, I was really like sad inside, and I was kind of shy, I was weak, I was also afraid to fight, I was made fun of a lot and I started to get into music and it just made me feel like I'd belong somewhere.

Brian found his calling on the strings of a guitar and discovered a kinship with four other teens from Bakersfield who, together formed Korn in 1993.

When all the guys in Korn hooked up back when we were kids, it was like we were a part of something that was gonna be our own, you know and not, it wasn't about the school, wasn't about a church, it was about something we were gonna create and do something that we feel we're gifted to do,
just fun for us.

Korn's first record earned accolades from fans and critics alike, with the unique fusion of heavy metal and alternative rock that some called nu metal. But, their aggressive song lyrics told dark tales of drugs, sex, and violence. They struck a chord with teenage fans. Awards soon followed. Korn songs topped music charts. Their albums went multi-platinum and they struck Grammy gold, not once, but twice.

We played in front of like two hundred thousand people, and they were all going nuts and we're like wow! I dreamt about this when I was a kid and 100% of it came true. All the fame, and money, and touring, it was crazy.

But Brian wasn't happy.

To the outside world, I was just, I had it all, I had money, grammys. I had the house, cars, anything I wanted. But the whole time I was with Korn, when we had success, something at home was failing.

Life on the road took its toll, Brian's wife left, his marriage fell apart and he became a single father to their little girl Jenee. The pressure, he says, led to a deep depression and dependency on highly addictive crystal meth, or speed.

I started doing speed full time, everyday. I was addicted to xanax too, sleeping pills, it was like living in pure hell. I was so miserable, I was like I just wanna go to sleep and never wake up, never and um I really wanted to die, I really did.

Late last year, a concerned friend invited Brian to this church in Bakersfield. Brian's pastor, Ron Vietti.

I saw tiredness, I saw confusion and someone who just was really ready for a change in life.

I was going after my demonic potential you know, and that was getting famous, worshiping money, worshiping fame, worshiping all this other stuff that I thought life was all about.

That realization prompted Brian to think about leaving the band. But when his 5 year old daughter started singing sexual lyrics from a Korn song, he decided it was time to quit.

I said, you guys, I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore, I'm leaving, I've got to leave, I have to leave, I have no other choice. My bass player from Korn, he text messaged me, he said you're gonna get put on MTV, everyone's gonna laugh at you, they're gonna say that you're crazy, is that what you want? I was like yeah, I'm ready to get laughed at because God's not laughing at me.

That faith led Brian to check into a hotel, for what he calls a personal drug rehab with God.

When I was laying in bed, sweating and stuff, going through all the withdrawals and stuff, and speed, I was like okay, God, I want you to strip this from me, you're the healer, take this from me. I didn't know what it meant to be touched in the spirit or nothing but I just, I felt like he goes, I'm gonna make you a star, by yourself without Korn. You're mine now, you're gonna sing for me.

Cured he says of his addiction, Brian joined his church group on a headline making pilgrimage to Israel.

Right when I got the gown on, tears started coming down my eyes, my stomach was contracting and I just felt, just pain, and I was looking up, Oh God, I'm sorry.

The change, Brian says, was instant.

I believe that my debt, evil spirits were lifted from me and now I'm peaceful, I'm at peace, I feel peace inside.

Now that Brian Welch has saved himself from his demons, he's taking aim at someone else's.
I'm not saying I'm better than him, I'm saying God is telling me something and God is telling me something to tell you.

In a new song, he slams one of America's biggest rap stars. Find out who when we come back.



Brian "Head" Welch - I am Second




위 동영상 내용

So in my head, I was like okay, I'm going to accept Christ in front of everybody right now, then I'm gonna go home and snort drugs until I don't wanna do them anymore. And that was my way of thinking so I received Christ at the church, I went home, neglected my daughter, put her in front of the TV. I remember I grabbed a hundred dollar bill, I always used a hundred dollar bill for some reason, pride, or something. I chopped up my crystal meth, got it all smooth and powdery and I snorted a big ol' line and I held the bill and I looked up and I said, "Jesus, if you're real like that pastor said, then you've gotta take these drugs from me, come into my life, come into my heart and I just got quiet. I said search me right now, search my heart. And I stayed silent and I said you know I wanna quit, you know I wanna be a good dad for this kid. She lost her mother to drugs and she's gonna lose me if I don't quit, Amen.

There's a high when you go on stage and you see all these people, like just, loving your music and loving you and stuff, and there's these girls and all these people going "AH! YEA!" worshiping me. When you see all those people just going nuts for you, it's like, you know, it puffs you up inside, you're like you know, I'm important. That's where drugs can creep in, you know, cocaine or whatever, methamphetamine, kreptin. It all came from after drinking for me, and my friends. It seems like fun in the beginning. It's a lie because it turns around on you and starts to wear on your personality, starts to wear on your relationships, and everything is affected by it negatively, everything.

There was a few times where life seemed good. My daughter Jenee, she came into the world and it was like, it was just such a euphoric feeling. I thought my life could feel like that forever. It was spiritual, I didn't know what was happening, I just felt so much love fill my emotions. And I thought I was going to be happy but uh I just couldn't, I couldn't stay sober, I didn't know how. I hit rock bottom, I had swore that I would never do meth again because I saw what it did to my child's mother, it just took her feelings away and made her leave her kid, I wanted her dead. I wanted to kill her. I just thought she was the scum of the earth and uh, you know, how could she do drugs like that and let the drugs win her like that? So I never was going to do meth again.

I ended up with a everyday crippling addiction to meth and everything that I said about ex-wife came true for me. I sunk to the lowest gutter I could ever think of. I would spend time with my kid and I would still be on it 'cause I needed to function. I'd get up in the morning, have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, snort meth, and take her to school or whatever, it was just, I was a junkie. I started losing my mind. This guy would show up at my house with like a gun and stuff and then I ran out in Europe, had my drug dealer send me drugs through the mail. I'd be tweaked out in my hotel room, watching this package come from the US and it was just nuts. My life just was like spinning out of control. When Jenee had come out on one of the tours in the US. I just remember her skipping around the house, she was singing one of our Korn songs, "All day I dream about sex." And I'm like going, "AHHH!!!" What am I doing? I'm a junkie. My daughter's singing, "all day I dream about sex" and uh, I'm gonna die.

Father. My uh real estate broker, Eric, he said Brian, I don't mean to be weird with you, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I felt the scripture like jump out at me. I've never done this before you know so I don't really know how to do this but I felt like this would mean something to you. It was Matthew 11:28. Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. I remember all tweaked out, I looked up in the dictionary, weary, I looked up burdened, and I just, I pulled the scripture apart, and I was like well I'm weary and burdened and I need rest from my soul and I didn't know if it was real but they invited me to church a couple weeks later and I received Christ at the church, I went home, neglected my daughter, got it all smooth and powdery, Jesus you've gotta take these drugs from me, search me right now, search my heart.

Father. I felt so much fatherly love from heaven and it was like I don't condemn you, I love you, I love you, it was just love, love and instantly that love from God came into me, it was so powerful that the next day I threw away all my drugs, and uh I quit Korn. I was like I'm quitting Korn and I'm gonna raise my kid because my kid, like I got the love from God come into me and then it came out of me to my kid, it changed me, my heart was changed like that, and I was like Jenee, daddy's gonna be home with you all the time, I'm quitting my career and her face lit up and she's like for me? You know she felt so special and uh God used her to save me, to save her, life later on.

My dream came true way more than I dreamt about. I made more money, I played bigger shows, I mean, houses, cars, I tried drugs, I tried sex, I tried everything to try to get pleasure out of this life and I thought that I could fulfill my life with all this stuff by having my dream come true. And it came true but it didn't fulfill it. When Christ came in, that feeling he gives you of understanding life, which is, everything was created for Christ and by him, and we're created to be with him and it's the most incredible feeling because it's where you belong, and contentment is given to you in life, because you don't have to look anywhere else and you're exactly where you need to be, and the question about life is answered. I'm Brian 'Head' Welch and I am second.



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딸과 함께있는 싱글아빠 브라이언 웰치


Brian Phillip Welch (born June 19, 1970),[1] better known as Head, is an American musician best known as the former lead guitarist and co-founder of the multi-platinum selling nu metal band Korn.[2] Along with fellow Korn guitarist James "Munky" Shaffer, Welch helped patent Korn's distinctive sound, a mix of sirenlike shards of dissonant guitar that mimicked a turntablist's various effects and rumbling down-tuned riffing that defined the spook metal aesthetic beginning in the mid-'90s.[2] Welch left the band in 2005 after becoming a Christian to focus on life as a father and to pursue his own solo career. He released his debut Christian album, Save Me from Myself, in 2008.
Head and Munky are ranked at No. 26 of Guitar World's 100 Greatest Heavy Metal Guitarists of All Time.[3]


by wikipedia


               





2013. 8. 아래 글을 업데이트합니다.


브라이언 웰치는
더이상 고통 속에서~ 자신을 파열시키는 음막을 하지 않는다.
구원해준 God를 소리쳐 외치는 음악을 한다.   


  Love and Death - Paralyzed


가사와 함께 동영상보기

Why is my love so cold?
No more will I pretend
Gasping for air as you're slipping through my fingers
Don't kiss me goodbye, please don't leave here

I'm dying inside (knowing it's my fault)
Crying with my (fist against the wall)
Can't get away
I swear I'm gonna break
I'm paralyzed, I need you now

The smell of sacrifice
Your disappearing whispers
I cannot grasp how my life inside just withers
Don't kiss me goodbye, please don't leave here

I'm dying inside (knowing it's my fault)
Crying with my (fist against the wall)
Can't get away
I swear I'm gonna break
I'm paralyzed, I need you now

I need you
I need you now
I need you

Death before I give dishonor
Death before I disobey
Death before I give dishonor!
Death before I disobey!
DISOBEY! DISOBEY!

I'm dying inside (knowing it's my fault)
Crying with my (fist against the wall)
Can't get away
I swear I'm gonna break
I'm paralyzed, I need you now

I need you now

Brian "HEAD" Welch- L.O.V.E



가사와 함께 동영상보기

I gave you everything
All the pain life brings
Just to get you to come back to Me
I want to give you light
I don't want to ever fight
Stop resisting and come home to Me
You're so afraid of love
There's not much time
All the pain inside just makes you want to die

Love Me
Don't hate Me
You're angry
It's OK
Trust Me
Come this way
Live in Eternity
I'm the real drug to take
To numb your heartache
Stop your running and come back to Me

I've had it up to here
I cried way too many tears
You'll keep suffering til you come to me
Outside you act so tough
But inside you cry
All the pain inside just makes you want to die

Love Me
Don't hate Me
You're angry
It's OK
Trust Me
Come this way
Live in Eternity

Your soul is Mine
Your soul is Mine
I don't want to fight
Your soul is Mine
Don't be unkind

Your soul is Mine
Your soul is Mine
I don't lie
I swear you'll never die
Stay alive
When I restore all mankind

Love Me
Don't hate Me
You're angry
It's OK
Trust Me
Come this way
Live in Eternity
Come see
You'll soon be
Not guilty
And set free


Used to be dead, now I'm alive


posted by Sunny in New York