Wife beating caught on video
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아이들 앞에서 아버지가 아이들의 엄마를 구타하는 것은 아이들에게 보여주는 것이다.
"내가 이렇게 힘이 세니 너희들 내말 잘들어, 알았지?" 다른 측면에서는 아이들이 보고 배우게 되는 것이다.
이렇게 남을 폭행을 하고도 자신이 부끄러운 것을 모른다는 것은 그것을 보아와서 잠재되어 있었다는 것으로 해석할 수도 있다.
내 글을 읽으러 오는 사람들이 대부분 남자라는 것을 감안한다면 읽고 도움이 되길 진심으로 바란다.
주변에 이런 사람 있으면 눈감는 것이 좋을까?
생각해보자.
>
미국에는 왜 매맞는 여자가 없을까?란 글을 올린적이 있는데 그 글을 읽지 않았다면 이 글을 읽은 뒤에라도 한번 읽어보길 바란다. 그 글을 올린 뒤에 보니 매 맞으면서도 참으며 사는 여자가 미국에도 있었다. 왜?
간단하다.
가정을 지키기 위해서.
간단하다.
가정을 지키기 위해서.
상세한 내용은 비디오에 그대로 찍혀서 증거가 되었고 자신의 아내를 정신적 육체적으로 괴롭힌(폭행한) 남편은 감옥행이 되었다.
도대체 이런 남자는 감옥에 가서 얼마나 살게될까?
36년이 선고 되었다고 한다.
미국법이 대단하긴 하다.
결과만 들어도 시원한 내용이다.
괴롭히는 과정이 적나라하게 나온다.
시간 나면 한번 보길 바래.
인생도 배우고 법도 알고 더 나아가 영어를, 이들의 삶을 이해하는데 한발짝 나가길 바래.
도대체 이런 남자는 감옥에 가서 얼마나 살게될까?
36년이 선고 되었다고 한다.
미국법이 대단하긴 하다.
결과만 들어도 시원한 내용이다.
괴롭히는 과정이 적나라하게 나온다.
시간 나면 한번 보길 바래.
인생도 배우고 법도 알고 더 나아가 영어를, 이들의 삶을 이해하는데 한발짝 나가길 바래.
위 동영상 내용
0:01
In a nice neighborhood in upstate New York, in a nice house like the ones you know, behind closed doors, a father commands his 13 year old son to pick up a camera, and start recording. Look at me bitch, you play those stupid games with me, I'll knock your teeth outta your face. The father delivers a verbal flogging to the mother, in front of their children. You act like a **** in front of the kids. It will go on for nearly an hour. You little slut. If I see a dog chew on your ass, I won't stop, I won't stop. It is domestic abuse, the kind we hear about but often don't believe. I don't wanna see your stupid ass, stupid ass heffer. Susan is 42 years old. They have three children. The father Olner, directs his 13 year old son the cameraman to get a close up of their emotionally battered mother. Do you see a tear? No. Not a tear out of that damn face. Yup, I got that. He indicates he wants the tape to prove that his anger at his wife is justified. What prompts his tirade? Susan asks him if he'd like some lunch. Come over here with some stupid ****. Yea. No, you didn't leave, you didn't just come ask me about lunch. He even makes his 13 year old son join him, in blaming her. And if you're wondering what kind of woman would endure something like this, if you're certain she's nothing like you, well take a look at Susan on tape three years ago, and look at the woman she really is, today.
1:43
What do you see when you look at her? A woman, desperate, desperately trying to save whatever she can salvage, of her family. Desperately trying to please her husband, do whatever it is that he wants her to do. According to a department of justice survey, 1 in 4 American women experience domestic violence. For Susan, the story begins when she is 18 years old. The daughter of a black father, a white mother who falls in love with a 26 year old guitarist in a popular local band. He is talented, charismatic, his name is Olner. I would go to see him play on the weekends and we'd talk on the phone and we just sort of grew to know each other. Did you say to yourself, "I'm happy?" Absolutely. They got married, he worked as a musician, she with a health insurance company and they had their three children. We're covering their faces at her request.
2:40
Everyone looks at you and I know the first thing they would think is, "so beautiful, so intelligent, you must have been able to take care of yourself, in any situation." I was, I was shy, I was very green. You know, my world was absolutely inside of the walls of our home. She says, at first, her husband was just very demanding and controlling, not so different from her own father who she described as overbearing. But she says, the more she tried to comply with her husband's demands, the more obsessive his control. Did you have friends over for dinner? Never. Never. He never wanted friends over, he never wanted men in his house, in particular. And your father and step-father didn't know about this? My um, husband had cut me off from my father and family, um, for many years.
3:35
How you gonna say something stupid like that? And you can hear on the videotape, how his badgering, his criticism wore her down, by twisting her words. When I was watching my son do something, and he said "don't look at him, like you're interested in what he's doing." And I said "I think I am interested in what my children do." I don't think I'm interested in my children." And he turned that into "I think I'm interested in what my children do." So you can think you care about your children or whatever you want to think what you care about. You don't." And then he turned it into, "I think I love my children." All in the same conversation, that phrase turned into something totally different. "Stupid ass heffer." In that 51 minute tape, Olner calls Susan stupid, 36 times. You disrespect me talking stupid like that, pisses me off, 'cause you should be on your knees apologizing, you stupid ass heffer.
4:35
The rants. Yes. The uh, mental and vocal abuse, just hours, I mean he would call it a family meeting, and these family meetings were all about what mommy did wrong today. He totally had my children completely on his side, completely brainwashed. Not only could I not believe his behavior but I couldn't believe my own children's behavior. She says the verbal abuse had gone on for years, before the words became fists. She says the first time he hit her, it was because she forgot something he wanted at a nearby grocery store. Her oldest child, her daughter is 19. He beat me down to the floor, I was crawling on the floor, trying to get away. I remember.. my daughter turning on the vacuum cleaner so that my younger children couldn't hear it. "You know more of what's going on at work than in your own house." At the time of the tape, she was working, he was not. He was jealous of men on the outside. "And this got to do with somebody at work." "It does not! I don't have anyone!" "You lyin' ass.."
5:40
I can't tell you how many baseball coaches I was accused of, swimming teachers, um, karate teacher, other parents. "Record this lyin' ass heffer." But her greatest agony was the role of her children. When you think your son's on the other side of that lens. Not only that, my younger son is right there, also. He was in the room? Their youngest son, 8 years old. "Sit your stupid ass on that thing." June 22, 2003, terrifying images of physical abuse, the kind the experts say takes place every 15 seconds some place in this country. The difference is, this is caught on video. "You don't know what to do. Look at your stupid ass. Look at the way you look." Behind the camera, a 13 year old boy watching his mother slapped, slugged, and throttled by his father. At one point, for nearly three minutes, the son seems unable to record what the father is doing. He keeps the lens facing away, toward his own feet. "You follow what I say, to the teeth." The terrified mother, Susan covers her face, while the father Olner strangles her, throws her to the floor.
7:08
When you look back at.. did it crack in some other way? Absolutely. The only thing that kept me from cracking, was the thought of my children. Why didn't you leave? A lot of it is preservation of family. I didn't want to see my family destroyed. And in my eyes, because of what he was telling me, I was the problem so all I had to do was fix me. On average, it will take seven tries for a woman to leave her abuser, the psychological chains, as strong as any metal. He had literally, physically and mentally beat me down to nothing. I thought I was not as good as a piece of dirt on his shoe. And... that's a place that is hard to come out of. I remember saying to her, "it's gotta stop. It has to, it ends here." I looked at her and I said, "today's the day." Once I said to Lynn, that was it, she said, "okay, I'm calling", and went and did it, immediately. With the help of police over the next few hours, she ran a heart pounding race against the clock. Since her husband controlled every minute of her day, she had to get to the children before he did and before he made an irrational move. Officer Kathy Onions.
8:30
We decided to have Susan call her residence, and speak to her husband. To reassure him, that uh, she picked up the son as she was instructed to. We wanted to document what his response was to this conversation, and uh, you know, have it on a tape. "Hello honey." "Where are you?" "I'm afraid to come home." "I'm afraid to come home." "You stupid ass heffer." "What you mean you're afraid to come home?" "You better bring my son home." "If you don't bring my son home, I'ma kill you heffer." "I don't want you to hurt me." "What ***." "I'm afraid to come home." In the end, Olner is found guilty on all counts. The judge who will never forget that searing tape, hands down a sentence of 36 years. The video tape is.... it's terrible. and it just uh.. still gets to me. According to the prosecutor, the sentence would be the longest in New York history for a domestic violence case in which the victim managed to stay alive. People say, you got murder convictions who don't have that kind of sentence. What the judge said at sentencing was, "you have destroyed this family.. as much, if not more, than if you had committed the murder." It was an unusual case and it required some unusual punishment.
0:01
In a nice neighborhood in upstate New York, in a nice house like the ones you know, behind closed doors, a father commands his 13 year old son to pick up a camera, and start recording. Look at me bitch, you play those stupid games with me, I'll knock your teeth outta your face. The father delivers a verbal flogging to the mother, in front of their children. You act like a **** in front of the kids. It will go on for nearly an hour. You little slut. If I see a dog chew on your ass, I won't stop, I won't stop. It is domestic abuse, the kind we hear about but often don't believe. I don't wanna see your stupid ass, stupid ass heffer. Susan is 42 years old. They have three children. The father Olner, directs his 13 year old son the cameraman to get a close up of their emotionally battered mother. Do you see a tear? No. Not a tear out of that damn face. Yup, I got that. He indicates he wants the tape to prove that his anger at his wife is justified. What prompts his tirade? Susan asks him if he'd like some lunch. Come over here with some stupid ****. Yea. No, you didn't leave, you didn't just come ask me about lunch. He even makes his 13 year old son join him, in blaming her. And if you're wondering what kind of woman would endure something like this, if you're certain she's nothing like you, well take a look at Susan on tape three years ago, and look at the woman she really is, today.
1:43
What do you see when you look at her? A woman, desperate, desperately trying to save whatever she can salvage, of her family. Desperately trying to please her husband, do whatever it is that he wants her to do. According to a department of justice survey, 1 in 4 American women experience domestic violence. For Susan, the story begins when she is 18 years old. The daughter of a black father, a white mother who falls in love with a 26 year old guitarist in a popular local band. He is talented, charismatic, his name is Olner. I would go to see him play on the weekends and we'd talk on the phone and we just sort of grew to know each other. Did you say to yourself, "I'm happy?" Absolutely. They got married, he worked as a musician, she with a health insurance company and they had their three children. We're covering their faces at her request.
2:40
Everyone looks at you and I know the first thing they would think is, "so beautiful, so intelligent, you must have been able to take care of yourself, in any situation." I was, I was shy, I was very green. You know, my world was absolutely inside of the walls of our home. She says, at first, her husband was just very demanding and controlling, not so different from her own father who she described as overbearing. But she says, the more she tried to comply with her husband's demands, the more obsessive his control. Did you have friends over for dinner? Never. Never. He never wanted friends over, he never wanted men in his house, in particular. And your father and step-father didn't know about this? My um, husband had cut me off from my father and family, um, for many years.
3:35
How you gonna say something stupid like that? And you can hear on the videotape, how his badgering, his criticism wore her down, by twisting her words. When I was watching my son do something, and he said "don't look at him, like you're interested in what he's doing." And I said "I think I am interested in what my children do." I don't think I'm interested in my children." And he turned that into "I think I'm interested in what my children do." So you can think you care about your children or whatever you want to think what you care about. You don't." And then he turned it into, "I think I love my children." All in the same conversation, that phrase turned into something totally different. "Stupid ass heffer." In that 51 minute tape, Olner calls Susan stupid, 36 times. You disrespect me talking stupid like that, pisses me off, 'cause you should be on your knees apologizing, you stupid ass heffer.
4:35
The rants. Yes. The uh, mental and vocal abuse, just hours, I mean he would call it a family meeting, and these family meetings were all about what mommy did wrong today. He totally had my children completely on his side, completely brainwashed. Not only could I not believe his behavior but I couldn't believe my own children's behavior. She says the verbal abuse had gone on for years, before the words became fists. She says the first time he hit her, it was because she forgot something he wanted at a nearby grocery store. Her oldest child, her daughter is 19. He beat me down to the floor, I was crawling on the floor, trying to get away. I remember.. my daughter turning on the vacuum cleaner so that my younger children couldn't hear it. "You know more of what's going on at work than in your own house." At the time of the tape, she was working, he was not. He was jealous of men on the outside. "And this got to do with somebody at work." "It does not! I don't have anyone!" "You lyin' ass.."
5:40
I can't tell you how many baseball coaches I was accused of, swimming teachers, um, karate teacher, other parents. "Record this lyin' ass heffer." But her greatest agony was the role of her children. When you think your son's on the other side of that lens. Not only that, my younger son is right there, also. He was in the room? Their youngest son, 8 years old. "Sit your stupid ass on that thing." June 22, 2003, terrifying images of physical abuse, the kind the experts say takes place every 15 seconds some place in this country. The difference is, this is caught on video. "You don't know what to do. Look at your stupid ass. Look at the way you look." Behind the camera, a 13 year old boy watching his mother slapped, slugged, and throttled by his father. At one point, for nearly three minutes, the son seems unable to record what the father is doing. He keeps the lens facing away, toward his own feet. "You follow what I say, to the teeth." The terrified mother, Susan covers her face, while the father Olner strangles her, throws her to the floor.
7:08
When you look back at.. did it crack in some other way? Absolutely. The only thing that kept me from cracking, was the thought of my children. Why didn't you leave? A lot of it is preservation of family. I didn't want to see my family destroyed. And in my eyes, because of what he was telling me, I was the problem so all I had to do was fix me. On average, it will take seven tries for a woman to leave her abuser, the psychological chains, as strong as any metal. He had literally, physically and mentally beat me down to nothing. I thought I was not as good as a piece of dirt on his shoe. And... that's a place that is hard to come out of. I remember saying to her, "it's gotta stop. It has to, it ends here." I looked at her and I said, "today's the day." Once I said to Lynn, that was it, she said, "okay, I'm calling", and went and did it, immediately. With the help of police over the next few hours, she ran a heart pounding race against the clock. Since her husband controlled every minute of her day, she had to get to the children before he did and before he made an irrational move. Officer Kathy Onions.
8:30
We decided to have Susan call her residence, and speak to her husband. To reassure him, that uh, she picked up the son as she was instructed to. We wanted to document what his response was to this conversation, and uh, you know, have it on a tape. "Hello honey." "Where are you?" "I'm afraid to come home." "I'm afraid to come home." "You stupid ass heffer." "What you mean you're afraid to come home?" "You better bring my son home." "If you don't bring my son home, I'ma kill you heffer." "I don't want you to hurt me." "What ***." "I'm afraid to come home." In the end, Olner is found guilty on all counts. The judge who will never forget that searing tape, hands down a sentence of 36 years. The video tape is.... it's terrible. and it just uh.. still gets to me. According to the prosecutor, the sentence would be the longest in New York history for a domestic violence case in which the victim managed to stay alive. People say, you got murder convictions who don't have that kind of sentence. What the judge said at sentencing was, "you have destroyed this family.. as much, if not more, than if you had committed the murder." It was an unusual case and it required some unusual punishment.
이런 남자의 이런 행동은 병(病)이어서 자신이 스스로 자각하고 정신과 치료를 받거나 약물을 통해 고칠려고 하는 노력이 없으면 고칠 수가 없다. 이 남자 나이가 지금 40 이라도 36년 형을 받았으니 그동안이라도 다른 피해자가 없어야 할 것이다. 그래서 형(刑)이 의외로 많이 나온 것으로 보인다. 이 여인도 그 피해자에 들어갈 수 있기 때문이다.
01
아이들 앞에서 아버지가 아이들의 엄마를 구타하는 것은 아이들에게 보여주는 것이다.
"내가 이렇게 힘이 세니 너희들 내말 잘들어, 알았지?" 다른 측면에서는 아이들이 보고 배우게 되는 것이다.
이렇게 남을 폭행을 하고도 자신이 부끄러운 것을 모른다는 것은 그것을 보아와서 잠재되어 있었다는 것으로 해석할 수도 있다.
내 글을 읽으러 오는 사람들이 대부분 남자라는 것을 감안한다면 읽고 도움이 되길 진심으로 바란다.
주변에 이런 사람 있으면 눈감는 것이 좋을까?
생각해보자.
posted by 써니의 뉴욕노트 & 잭스피킹 호흡영어
